every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
