no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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