So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We are all done wearing pants today
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