They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
