How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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