can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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