its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
