sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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