I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
