god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
your like the ambassador to my penis.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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