Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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