i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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