I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
