Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
