Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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