Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
