oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
BRING THE BAGELS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
