Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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