here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
