it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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