Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
