I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
