I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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