everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
