I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
