I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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