Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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