I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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