the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
