You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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