I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
