I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
