so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I stole a fireplace last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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