i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
