I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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