Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
