hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
