Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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