Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
