the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
