Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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