We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
