She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she smelled like a LAN party
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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