now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
