Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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