so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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