I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
