You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
