oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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