you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
